Antecedent Strategies
Antecedent strategies or things done prior to the behavior to prevent it are preferred. Establishing rules, reviewing the rules, changing the environment, and providing positive praise for preferred behaviors are some examples. These are actions that we can take to increase desired behaviors and keep our relationships positive. However, even with the best antecedent strategies, maladaptive behaviors will occur. Once they happen, as parents, we need to provide practical and appropriate consequences for the behavior.
Appropriate and Practical
If you have a teenager, come home after 9 pm, then an appropriate consequence would be for them not to go out again until they prove they can be trust worthy and come home on time. This is appropriate based on this specific behavior. Like the jumping on the couch example, not being able to watch TV makes sense. Once the appropriate consequence has been established, then we need to determine how to keep it practical. If your teenager comes home late, it’s not practical to ground them for the rest of the year or even a month. You would want to consider losing the privilege of going out for the next few days. Appropriate and practical will vary based on the child, behavior, as well as the family.
Consistency
The next step is to follow through with all consequences and remain consistent. If you state that jumping on the couch loses the privilege to watch TV, then that consequence needs to occur every time the child jumps on the couch. If you only follow through 9 out of 10 times, you are not being consistent, and it gives the child mixed messages. They learn that 1 out of 10 times it is okay to jump on the couch.
Consistency and consequences need to include the time value as well. If the child listens the first time, they may only have no TV for 5 minutes. If you need to ask 3 times, the consequence may be no TV for 15 minutes. Time value is based on the child’s age and developmental level as well as other factors. The more consistent you are, the less you will see the undesirable behavior occur. Consistency and follow through sets clear expectations for the child.
Expectations and consequences should be clear in all environments. When a child is at the playground, it is appropriate for them to run and jump. However, running and jumping is not appropriate at school or at the store. When children are transitioning to new environments then the new set of expectations should be reviewed and discussed.
Privilege
Let the child know they are either earning or denying themselves the privilege. Items and activities should have controlled access. The parent should be the “giver of all good things”. Same thing in a classroom with a teacher. Having control over items and activities gives you instructional control. When a child has free access to items and activities, they no longer become reinforcing. When the child jumps on the couch, the parent turns off the TV, but it’s the child’s behavior that loses the privilege of watching TV. When the child is sitting nicely, their behavior earns the privilege of watching TV.
Another example is a child screaming for a cookie. They are denied the cookie based on the screaming behavior. However, if they ask appropriately and maybe eat their dinner then they earn the cookie. If we were to give the cookie to the screaming child, then they would learn how to obtain a cookie. This undesired behavior of screaming will continue since it provided the child with exactly what they wanted.
Remember consequences can and should be positive as well. Earning TV time, staying out late, getting a cookie, or even a positive comment to recognize the desired behaviors. The more positive consequences you can provide, the more likely those desired behaviors will continue. Positive consequences also foster positive parent and child relationships.
Resources:
Latham, G.I. (1990). The power of positive parenting. North Logan, UT: P&T Ink.